Following a conversation with former PM, John Howard, NCV is able to reveal startling "relevations" (sic) [yep! that exactly how JWH put it] about where he will be on Christmas Day.
NCV can confirm that JWH WILL NOT be spending Christmas with the Doug Anthony All Stars.
Avid JWH fans ... watch this space.
Saturday 1 December 2007
Former PM admits he's been getting his dates mixed up
Exclusive
North Coast Voices has had the luxury of a private viewing of former PM John Howard's diary entries.
JWH said his diary will be heavily used when he appears on the public speaking scene in town and country halls across the country in the New Year. However JWH confided to NCV that he hasn't had any luck in securing the services of an agent who would be prepared to take him under its wing and organise what he is very confident would be a block busting success.
Should he fail to appear on the public speaking scene by Easter, JWH said he would opt for the far more lucrative option of going straight to the big screen and produce and direct a movie about himself.
JWH said he figured a public speaking tour was the very least he should do in order to repay his followers across the breadth of this great nation. In an aside, JWH remarked that he thought the many public appearances he could make would provide him with ideal opportunities to use the blanket appeal strategy and collect any loose coins and folding money his mates had left. "My finances are not what some people say they are. Living off a mere $300,000 pa will be no easy matter. My good wife and I have become accustomed to a life style that we won't be able to throw away lightly. Why else do you reckon I hung in there tooth and nail?"
When asked how 2007 had unfolded for him, JWH exclaimed, "Drats! I thought, sure as eggs, that 2007 was the Chinese Year of the Rat. In fact, I was so sure of myself I would have put good money on it. Not that I'm a gambling man. No sirreee! I'm a Sunday School goer. Mind you, it wouldn't have been my money anyway because, as you all know, I've had my hand in the public purse for so long that I don't even have a wallet I call my own. After all, why would I need one?"
"I've been the nation's prime rodent for over 11 years. Just quietly, some of my best mates reckon I'm the best lying rodent this nation has ever had. And who am I to argue with them?"
When told 2008 was the Year of the Pig, JWH said that made things a whole lot better for him.
"Phew, that's a big help. I'll be able to use that in my speeches. That'll get me off the hook. I'll tell the good folks out there in voter land I had every right to pork barrel because it was the Year of the Pig."
North Coast Voices has had the luxury of a private viewing of former PM John Howard's diary entries.
JWH said his diary will be heavily used when he appears on the public speaking scene in town and country halls across the country in the New Year. However JWH confided to NCV that he hasn't had any luck in securing the services of an agent who would be prepared to take him under its wing and organise what he is very confident would be a block busting success.
Should he fail to appear on the public speaking scene by Easter, JWH said he would opt for the far more lucrative option of going straight to the big screen and produce and direct a movie about himself.
JWH said he figured a public speaking tour was the very least he should do in order to repay his followers across the breadth of this great nation. In an aside, JWH remarked that he thought the many public appearances he could make would provide him with ideal opportunities to use the blanket appeal strategy and collect any loose coins and folding money his mates had left. "My finances are not what some people say they are. Living off a mere $300,000 pa will be no easy matter. My good wife and I have become accustomed to a life style that we won't be able to throw away lightly. Why else do you reckon I hung in there tooth and nail?"
When asked how 2007 had unfolded for him, JWH exclaimed, "Drats! I thought, sure as eggs, that 2007 was the Chinese Year of the Rat. In fact, I was so sure of myself I would have put good money on it. Not that I'm a gambling man. No sirreee! I'm a Sunday School goer. Mind you, it wouldn't have been my money anyway because, as you all know, I've had my hand in the public purse for so long that I don't even have a wallet I call my own. After all, why would I need one?"
"I've been the nation's prime rodent for over 11 years. Just quietly, some of my best mates reckon I'm the best lying rodent this nation has ever had. And who am I to argue with them?"
When told 2008 was the Year of the Pig, JWH said that made things a whole lot better for him.
"Phew, that's a big help. I'll be able to use that in my speeches. That'll get me off the hook. I'll tell the good folks out there in voter land I had every right to pork barrel because it was the Year of the Pig."
Our very last Howard poll
In a mood of rollicking good humour, a liquid lunchtime discussion turned to canvassing the ideal place for John Howard to spend his retirement. Transylvania and Iraq both got a mention, as did locations close to George Bush or Maggie Thatcher.
The final list is now up in the North Coast Voices sidebar as a poll. Tell us what you think!
And the latest news from Bennelong is.....
According to the Australian Electoral Commission's Virtual Tally Room at 6.51pm on Friday 30 November 2007 the vote in Bennelong now stands at:
John Howard 41,159 two-party preferred or 48.75%
Maxine McKew 43,272 two-party preferred or 51.25%
Maxine McKew has rightfully claimed victory, but John Howard is such a wimp that he is waiting for the Electoral Commission to concede defeat on his behalf.
At least on the NSW North Coast all the losers on both sides showed a bit of spine.
No accord in the Liberal camp
There are no harmonious sounds issuing from the Liberal Party these days. They are a sad and sorry lot at present.
John Howard, through Tony Abbot, let us all know that the reason the Coalition lost the 2007 federal election was that Australia just wanted a change. Apparently that Saturday morning we all went to the wardrobe, didn't like what hung there and decided to go out and buy a new summer outfit.
Peter Costello is saying that the lack of new Coalition leadership led to its defeat and obviously wondering where to go from here.
Judith Troeth is blaming Costello's leadership ambitions for the party's electoral trouncing.
The Queensland Libs are now busily tearing the party apart ostensibly on state issues.
West Australian Libs are looking sideways at each other and pointing the finger.
While the accord between Brendan Nelson and Malcolm Turnbull apparently never really began.
"Malcolm Turnbull stormed into the new Liberal leader's parliamentary office within an hour of Thursday's leadership vote, tearing into Brendan Nelson over his "funereal speech" and urging him to toughen up."
The Australian today:
And their Nationals partner is quietly blaming Mark Vaile as well as the Liberal Party for its own poor showing at the ballot box.
Across the board many Coalition MPs are considering whether it is worth the effort to honour their contract with Australia and serve out full terms.
Despite a few brave words for public consumption it seems that a number of those in the Coalition team don't expect to regain federal government in 2010 or even 2013 for that matter.
It is beginning to look as though being the Opposition is not going to suit these former tall poppies.
A message to the Rudds
Now that Kevin Rudd is the Prime Minister of Australia, the Rudd family needs to look back on the Howard era for lessons in how not to proceed.
Lesson 1: Don't make the mistake of keeping Kirribilli House as a principal residence. The cost alone will make ordinary Australians rather annoyed at such indulgence.
Lesson 2: Don't go in for any major refurbishment of either The Lodge or Kirribilli House. Live with the Howard's suspect taste in interior design. Australia didn't elect a Labor government to see money wasted on more expensive furniture, drapery or silverware.
Lesson 3: Remember at all times that the Governor-General is the Australian head of state and act accordingly. Don't show yourselves as ignorant as the Howard's on this matter.
Lesson 4: Australia elected the politician in the family not the life partner. Don't give Australia the impression that Ms. Rein has undue influence on the Prime Minister's political strategy. The country doesn't need or want another 'Mrs. Bucket'.
Lesson 5: Never forget that the Rudd family are ordinary folk and don't attempt to throw your weight around simply because one of the family just happens to hold a powerful position. Despite the Howard years, Australia is still not America and we won't accord you any respect for forgetting this fact.
Now John Laws is gone can Alan Jones be far behind?
John Laws has retired from Australian airwaves at long last. I chiefly remember this glorified disc jockey for the hysteria he whipped up in my callow youth which caused a run on a NSW building society. This building society later went on to become a successful bank. John Laws went on to become a rather rich man.
Alan Jones in his pursuit of ratings did much worse and will forever be remembered for fanning the flames of racial tension just prior to the Cronulla Riots.
In December 2000 & Kevin it's time state and federal politicians reconsidered the level of access given to Jones and began to starve this radio 'personality' of the oxygen which keeps him going.
Alan Jones belongs to a far-right past that Australia is now hopefully shrugging off.
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