Jury Duty: I shouldn't laugh, but........

Twenty-eight real or fanciful excuses and attitudes found on Teh Netz for getting out of jury duty:

1. I am unable to speak and understand English – I’m a cat.

2. I’m a dog – the vet says so.

3. If I was meant by God to judge I would be presiding over my own courtroom.

4. I committed a felony, I just wasn't caught.

5. I’ll have to bring my seeing-eye wombat.

6. My budgie is sick, dying, dead.

7. I'm psychic and so I already know the outcome of the trial.

8. My entourage needs me.

9. I have a very important Warcraft quest to finish and my guild is depending on me.

10. My people do not recognise your Earth laws.

11. I fart uncontrollably.

12. I’m a racist.

13. My voices tell me I shouldn’t.

14. It has been my experience that all cops lie.

15. I can't leave home due to the impending holocaust.

16. My bladder causes me to pee quite often. I will not serve unless you can guarantee I can pee every 30 minutes.

17. Please excuse me from jury duty so I can attend a party.

18. I can only communicate telepathically.

19. I shouldn't have to serve because I am too obese.

20. My wife just called. She's in the hospital.

21. I have no faith in the justice system.

22. I'm too busy practicing law to be a juror.

23. I'm a writer. By nature we're shiftless, unreliable, and we make stuff up for a living.

24. Yes, I know the defendant, and the prosecutor, and the bailiff. I know ALL of you!

25. Can I be impartial? As long as impartial means any fool can see the man is guilty.

26. Dress horribly inappropriate for your age/gender.

27. I'm with you, Judge, I'm twittering the whole thing!

28. What was that, Your Honor? I'm busy updating my blog.