Sunday 8 August 2010

A few coping strategies in the event Tony Abbott becomes prime minister


For your consideration. A few coping strategies in the event Tony Abbott becomes Australia's next prime minister on 21 August and you find yourself in the unhappy position of not being a White, Anglo-Saxon Christian Male with a profession or independent income:

1. Unilaterally declare civil war
2. Buy advanced survival gear and head for the hills until 2013
3. Empty your bank account and bribe your way onto the first small boat heading to New Zealand
4. Apply for refugee status with the United Nations
5. Join a protest movement and live underground until the Liberal Party decapitates Abbott or the next election comes around (whichever comes first)
6. Wear RM Williams from top to toe, stuff a pair of footy socks down your pants and loudly thump a bible in order to pass yourself off as a White Anglo-Saxon Christian Male
7. Go on a three-year bender
8. If you are female throw way your shoes and stay pregnant, or if you are a male start bullying your significant other, to show that you're with the Agnus Dei New Order
9. Revert to the superstitious and boil wax effigies of The Great Leader, set fire to his image and generally call upon the dark forces to take their spawn back from whence it came
10. Pretend to be invisible and watch silently from a barricaded house as the country marches backwards into the Middle Ages..........


Cartoon from Google Images

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